There is no such thing as pressing charges except in fiction.
You are alleging criminal offences. Therefore you need to tell the police. They will investigate (obviously they'll want to question him as well) and think about if there is enough evidence to stand up in court. If they decide there is, then...
Best answer: There is no such thing as pressing charges except in fiction.
You are alleging criminal offences. Therefore you need to tell the police. They will investigate (obviously they'll want to question him as well) and think about if there is enough evidence to stand up in court. If they decide there is, then (assuming you're in the US) they will pass the information to the District Attorney. It is the DA who decides whether to bring charges - that's not up to you.
Prosecutions are brought by the DA in the name of the state - something criminal is always treated as a wrong against the state itself. So it's not You v Abuser, it's The State of X v Abuser, or The People of X v Abuser. Which has the advantage for you that affording it is not an issue. If the DA decides to take this forward, he or she takes over and does it all for you. You don't need a lawyer. The DA's office provides one to handle the case and they're paid for out of taxes. It will cost you not a bean and all you have to do is be a witness if it gets to trial.
That's the difference between civil and criminal law. Civil law is when you have a dispute with someone and then you'll want a lawyer to sue them for compensation, your money back or whatever. But criminal law is about whether someone should be punished for doing the wrong thing and the state will always take that on. All the state needs from you is your information. And your bestie's - two witnesses are always better than one!
So that's the way forward. Both of you go to the police and tell them all about it. They'll take it from there and it costs you nothing except your time. They'll decide if it's worth taking further with the DA, knowing that the DA doesn't want to waste time on a case that they will probably lose. The DA knows far better than any of us whether it's worth taking this to court - it's their job to know! Either way, you'll find out if it was worth telling the police, for free. You don't need to know if there is enough evidence - that decision gets made for you by the guys with experience.
If you're not in the US, it's still the same - it's just that the public prosecutor won't be called the DA, they'll be called something else. In England, for example, the Crown Prosecution Service does this. (And the case will be called R v Abuser. R = Regina = the Queen!)
BTW "female" is an adjective, not a noun. You are a woman.
1 day ago