Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming.
A man in love is incomplete until he has married, then he is finished.
Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
When you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy.
I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you.
I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.