How can I learn to forgive myself for my twisted past?

When I was a teenager, I could have taken second in command to Satan in hell. I picked fights with people and beat up smaller kids just to show I could, stole money from my MOTHER (yes, my mother), lied compulsively, tortured and killed animals, destroyed property, called black people n*ggers, had a need to show... show more When I was a teenager, I could have taken second in command to Satan in hell. I picked fights with people and beat up smaller kids just to show I could, stole money from my MOTHER (yes, my mother), lied compulsively, tortured and killed animals, destroyed property, called black people n*ggers, had a need to show off constantly...I also had the biggest mouth, constantly saying the STUPIDEST sh*t thinking I sounded cool, talking trash to people saying things I had no business saying, extremely rude to people when they tried to be friendly to me

I'm 27 now, and every day, I say to myself "Why didn't someone tie you to a post and just have everyone take turns beating you to an unrecognizable pulp?" Honestly, I truely wish someone would have kicked my a*s, I would have deserved it!

I hate myself so much for all the sh*t I did as a teen, and I can't stop thinking about it. They say forgiving people is important...but how can I forgive myself? I need to let my past go, but I don't know how!
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