Your wife is going through a phase of losing her father, as well as, dealing with her mom who has lost her husband. This is very tough to handle but seven years is alot! I do agree that you need your privacy and the mother-in-law being everywhere is out of hand. Sit down and talk to your wife gently without getting angry. Explain to her how you want to be there for her and her mom but it's affecting your whole family. Make sure you tell her what your kids are feeling as well. If she is not understanding, go to a counselor where they could possibly help your wife understand the situation. Maybe, if she is getting it a little, throw some solutions out and see if she would agree. Make sure you make it clear to her that you understand her better then anyone else. Let her know, you understand what she and her mom are going through first before trying to explain what your feeling. You have been married for 22 years, there has got to be understanding, love and a balance. I'm sure you can work it out... even though it may seem unsolvable rite now.