Go on over to your folk's tonight, so you will be close to the airport to pick up your friend tomorrow. Your wife can join you tomorrow or Friday before the funeral, if she wants to pay her respects and show her support for the family. Otherwise, she can skip it and you can tell the family she chose to remain home for personal reasons.
From your previous posts (years ago) about your marriage, it's been a bumpy road anyway. Seems to me your friend may be more welcome support at the funeral than your wife, who doesn't seem to want to make things easier for you at all during this difficult time.
Sorry for the loss of your father. It will be a memory forever associated with the holiday season for you now. I hope you and your family can find some joy in this season regardless, and share happy stories/memories of your father.