How to leave my wife?

So I’ve been married over just over two years and in that time we’ve separated twice had an illegitimate child that I was lead to believe was mine, there’s been infidelity on both sides, mostly hers but I strayed once, and there’s been aggressive violent behavior again on both sides mostly me defending myself from... show more So I’ve been married over just over two years and in that time we’ve separated twice had an illegitimate child that I was lead to believe was mine, there’s been infidelity on both sides, mostly hers but I strayed once, and there’s been aggressive violent behavior again on both sides mostly me defending myself from knife attacks or crazy fists. Background: I’m a full time university student who works graveyard at a casino to pay the bills and she is a stay at home house wife taking care of our two legitimate and one illigetimate children. I can’t afford two pay her way and mine. I don’t have the time to take the kids and leave her. And I care about her so I don’t want to **** her over (or any of my three kids) and just leave the whole scene. So how do I get out of this? We tried therapy and it didn’t work. I just feel so trapped that it makes me contemplate very bad things, not that I would act on them but I don’t like having my head full of negativity. Also the thought of staying just inspires me to stay drunk as often as financially possible vs when we agreed to separate and I had no urge to drink and was sober for over a month until she said she wanted to work things out.
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