I’m 16 and my 41 year old Dad is abusive, does that make me not a man?

I have a dad that is mentally abusive 24/7 (always reminds me of how much better I could be and how much I fail at things and has made fun of me for my problems with depression always calling me a pussy and throwing my Prozac bottle at me calling me “Pilly Polly”after I asked him to give me back my... show more I have a dad that is mentally abusive 24/7 (always reminds me of how much better I could be and how much I fail at things and has made fun of me for my problems with depression always calling me a pussy and throwing my Prozac bottle at me calling me “Pilly Polly”after I asked him to give me back my anti-depressents) and has been physically abusive by coming home drunk and beating me because I don’t wanna wrestle at 3 am and taking anger out on me and even threatening to slit my throat) and is also a major alcoholic which basically just makes him act worse
(Ive never told anyone but In 6th grade he got drunk and threatened to rape me which is always a fear I have when he’s drunk) he has caused me a lot of depression and self esteem issues and gave me ptsd and I feel like me putting up with it has made me not a man and idk what to do.
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